Holidays are meant to be happy but sometimes, when you are living with incurable cancer, they are really challenging!
We had a wonderful break starting in Amsterdam to visit my brother in Law and see Luke Combs (I know, you’ve never heard of him but he’s sold out loads of stadium dates across Europe) in concert at the Johann Cruyff Arena before then flying to Madeira with the original intention of hiking the Levada’s but, when we got there, it was obvious we both needed a more relaxing break so we cut back on the hiking and spent more time doing rest and recuperation.
Whilst in the Netherlands we had the opportunity to take in a parkrun starting with a Z for Zegerplas. We are trying to run an alphabet of parkruns, one starting with every letter of the alphabet, yes, it’s a thing, so this was a great opportunity to capture the illusive Z. It was a beautiful run around half a lake and then back.
The finish looked so far away from the far end of the lake! The bulk of participants were Brits doing exactly the same as us and the total number of less than 100 was way less than parkruns back in the UK but it was a lovely route.
My running has been awful in 2026, plagued by running out of breath when I run, meaning I have had to resort to doing jog/walk instead of running the whole of the 5km parkrun. Given that I’ve previously run 20 marathons and two ultramarathons the inability to run has been soul destroying and I’ve really struggled to cope with it. It might not seem much to some readers but my running has been a significant part of my coping mechanism since my diagnosis and currently it’s having a really negative effect on my mental health. This led to the first glimpse of the me of old as I sat reflecting with Tracey later in the day and told her I couldn’t cope with this anymore and burst into tears. Hormone deprivation treatment does that. Awful mood swings and bouts of tearfulness but I normally manage to hold it in. This time there was no chance!
The second glimpse of me also led to tears. Holidays are always about sun, sand and sex, aren’t they? Well, they aren’t when you’ve been chemically castrated, have no libido and can’t get an erection!
I’ve been quite good at not dwelling on the pre cancer days and comparing the me of today with the old me but sometimes it’s impossible not to.
I hate the fact that I can’t run 5km without walking even though I’m only running at the speed of a herd of stampeding tortoises and I hate the fact I’ve completely lost my masculinity.
I’ll cope. I always do but it doesn’t mean things are always easy. The treatment has kept me alive but it’s taken so much from me. A friend captured that perfectly in his blog when he wrote “I am grateful. I am also not fine. Both are true and neither cancels the other.” I think that sums things up really well.
Enough of that miserable nonsense though. Let me tell you about the holiday.
Despite deciding to do RnR rather than lots of hiking we did manage three stunning Levada hikes and a total of nearly 200,000 steps over the 13-day holiday as we walked around the parks of Amsterdam.
We walked long the coast of Madeira, around botanical gardens and from the hotel into Funchal 45 minutes away. Movement really matters, even if I can’t run and even on holiday but the rehydration breaks with a cold beer in the sun were great as well.
We learnt so much about Madeira by doing guided hikes. Most fascinating is that they rely nearly entirely on clouds for their water but not in the form of rain as it rarely rains for any length of time. Instead, the island has a unique climate where clouds form and cover the mountains and the water in the clouds condenses onto the trees and vegetation and then runs down into the Levada’s, a system of transporting water around the island, particularly from the north to the south. All the Levada’s have paths alongside them enabling you to hike for miles following the path of the water. In the north of the island where the water is purer there are even rainbow trout in the Levada’s.
The Levada’s also enable the villagers to irrigate their crops. Every couple of weeks the water flow is diverted onto your land for an hour and we saw the result of this on one of our hikes as the villager had had water that morning and all his land was very wet.
Our first hike was a very solid, nearly 12 miles, along the Levada de Caldeiro Verde in the north of the island. Out and back to a spectacular waterfall.
The second hike was very short but incredibly interesting as we stopped many times for the guide to explain the culture and history of Madeira to us before finishing at her house, Rita’s tea house, to sample lots of local produce and cake.
The third hike was simply stunning. Starting at a very high altitude in the North East of the island and mainly descending but taking in the Levada das 25 Fontes where the water literally pours down a big waterfall but also leaks out of 25 places in the cliff wall hence the 25 fountains. Absolutely spectacular spot and well worth the 7-mile hike to see it.
The rest of the time in Madeira was mainly spent doing long daily walks punctuated by beer stops, aka rehydration, taking the cable car from Funchal to the Jardim Monte Palace (palace gardens), visiting the Funchal botanical gardens and Cristiano Ronaldo’s hotel and museum as well as meandering around Funchal old town.
We can highly recommend Funchal. It’s stunningly beautiful with a great variety of things to do and see. It was fun being in Portugal when Spain won the world cup. Madeira seemed to have more Spaniards than Portuguese that night!bbb
Running Into Cancer 